UCTSOMPWWSTSMPTTMLOCFR

I believe that in today's society one must be wary of the acronym. When the need arises to mask the complexity of an operation behind a series of capitalized letters, the validity of such an organization is drawn into question. In truth, I reference only one specific acronym---UPS. For those of you who spend time on www.acronymfinder.com, let me clarify: I am referencing United Parcel Service, and not Underwater Photographic Society as you may have initially suspected.

I wage an ongoing war with UPS. It consists of me purchasing articles online (I'm actually an Amazon Prime member, and make good use of that membership), and UPS attempting to deliver them. I miss the initial delivery, as I tend to be away from home ALWAYS, and they leave me an official notice which says they'll try again the next day. Sometime between the hours of 8-11, 11-3, or 3-5. So could I possibly arrange my schedule so they can deliver it in that time frame? Needless to say, I miss the package, they repeat the process, refusing adamantly to leave anything at our house without a signature. My free 2-day shipping becomes free 2-week shipping while my packages gather dust in a warehouse 20 minutes away.

I occasionally make the sojourn to Ypsilanti, taking my knife with me of course, and brave the UPS facility. As I did today. The forces of Utterly Pathetic Service were aligned against me and just as I handed over my package slip, all the power died in the building. This left me stumbling blindly about in the darkness (with knife in hand of course), knocking over towers of packages, and eventually taking shelter in a vacant brown delivery truck. Or maybe not---BUT in the twenty minutes I waited for the computer system to reboot this wouldn't have been an impossibility. I was thrilled when I could finally learn the status of my package. As the Unhurried Product Salesman pronounced my package sentence, I could do nothing but gaze at him in horror and disgust. My package had been returned?!?! Without me receiving notification? (For the record, UPS claims they informed me on a postcard. But delivery was most likely attempted somewhere within a 24-hour time when I was expected to be patiently waiting at the door for a delivery). And thus passed my Ultimately Pointless Sojourn.

The acronym won this round. But thankfully I am not alone in dealing with the complexities of UPS.

Please stay tuned for updates concerning the status of my package which was supposed to ship my PowerbookG4 to the magical land of CA for repairs: UCTSOMPWWSTSMPTTMLOCFR. I mean, what good is only a 3-letter acronym anyway?

All in a day's work...

You can learn how to anything online. But that doesn't necessarily mean you should.

I believe in do-it-yourself projects. Sometimes. Mostly when it saves me money. Or just when I get random urges to beat "the system." That invisible world of "they" who are out there to take my money because I know nothing about "their" line of specialty. The automotive repairs "system" for example. Whenever I have to take my car in for repairs, I have no choice but to believe what they tell me, smile prettily and hope for a nice employee and a discount. I have no power, because I know nothing about cars. Vicious system. I no longer have a car in an effort to protest against "them." (Amongst other more practical reasons, such as it dying and leaving me stranded in Wapakaneta, OH.) Anyway...

On Monday, September 22nd, my hard drive died. And no, I had NOT backed up ALL my files, but thank you for asking and reminding me of my idiocy. Thankfully, I didn't lose much, but I AM still mourning the loss of this summer's pictures. Without a functioning hard drive, I found myself facing a decision. New computer? My 12" Powerbook G4 is my child. Could I really replace her so easily? Plus a new laptop is quite an investment (I'm committed to remaining in Mac realm) and I'm not sure I can take that type of financial plunge at the moment. The only other alternative was repair. But $300+ to spend on a child who's natural lifespan would be no more than another year or so...

I chose Option C. The "I can learn how to do anything on the internet so why should I pay a professional?" route. Here's how my last Wednesday night went down.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN:



Feel free to note the amazing method in which I kept the 1,789,343 invisible screws sorted.

After a couple hours of intense concentration (I can see why 12" Powerbook repairs are more expensive--tiny parts!) I had completely taken apart my computer and resassembled it with a new hard drive. The only casualty was the F2 key. With great anticipation I pushed the power button, having renewed my child's life--bringing her back from the dead if you will. And...

It didn't work.

But I really enjoyed myself! And just for the record, I think I might have just gotten a faulty new hard drive. There's no way the error could have been in the repairs. Needless to say, my baby is now safely scheduled for a doctor's appointment to diagnose her current illness. (I will NOT tell them I tried repairing it myself.)

MORAL OF THE STORY: Do not attempt do-it-yourself projects if you see the *****VERY CAREFULLY***** in the instructions. Chances are you're not qualified to deal with directions that come in CAPS and are surrounded by foreboding stars.

Extraterrestrial Evidence

If you were wondering if "returning to Michigan" is synonymous with "dropping off the face of the planet," this entry is to reassure you that it is. Which makes me scientific evidence that life exists beyond this Earth. Add that to a resume!
POINT: I am alive, and slowly taking control of the life that awaited me here in this northern wilderness.

The semester started almost before I arrived, my first meeting with the conductor of our fall opera (my teacher) was scheduled for the Sunday before school started. I arrived Friday evening, and immediately set up camp at the music school. Aside from the time I spend sleeping--which I value VERY much--I have maintained that camp and done so at least somewhat effectively. The opera's going well, my Russian's improving rapidly and I now know a plethora of words that I'm sure will be enormously helpful in everyday conversation: eternity, sermon, fate, duel, etc. But who ever said that opera was practical?

Speaking of practical, I've started filling out JOB applications. Yes, it might seem a bit strange to you that I would actually abandon my calling in the classroom and my short-term summer jobs, but the time has come...maybe. More school is not entirely out of the question as the DMA program here is quite compelling. Anyway...how many jobs do you have to apply for that require a headshot?!?! Well, ALL of mine do. Welcome to the world of performance! So while I was in UT I did a quick shoot with an amazing photographer and instead of doing JUST headshots, we decided to have a good time. She just happened to have a leopard print umbrella on hand...
Here are a few of the pics:





You can check out more of Brooke's work here or on her blog. She's fantastic (and you'll probably see some gorgeous pictures of my sister Dani's wedding as well).

So, here are the current cities under consideration for future residency. Let me know your preferences as I have yet to decide mine---though the decision will most likely be determined by a future employer. :)

Houston, TX
Washington D.C.
Los Angeles, CA
San Francisco, CA
Miami, FL

Here's to a crazy fall of auditions, opera, the "rebuilding" of the MI Wolverine football team, and my last year of life as a student! Maybe...

Jail Break

Frequently people neglect to see the similarities in my profession and serving time in jail. Understandable considering there aren't many. But I will ask you to consider for a moment, the black and white striped prison attire of yore. And the usage of the expression "behind bars." Now, consider the following taking special care to note the colors of the image:

Yes, that's right. Black and white. And stripes. Anyone ever thought about how musical measures are referred to as "bars" and that university practice rooms are actually called cells?
Well, the latter is a blatant falsehood and the similarities may end there, but I thought it was a topic worth considering. Especially since during my stay in Utah I have spent approximately 9 hours a day seeing black and white---keys, scores, you name it. I'm up against a serious deadline, so I wasn't leaving the house, my appearance was far from attractive and my hygiene was becoming questionable. (All tendencies experienced while serving time). While going stir crazy, I realized something needed to be done. Something drastic. So, instead of just stepping outside like a normal individual, I left the state. On a jet plane. (Insert music here).
My weekend in Houston was fantastic. It was a melding of my worlds as I introduced friends from my Utah life to my Texans. Got a dose of Tex Mex, more chocolate chip cookies than could possibly be good for any individual, and a healthy new mindset. Which made coming back to the keys today the wonderful job that it is, instead of drudgery and jail time.

As proof that this actually happened---I DID leave the piano room---I have pics of me with people that were known to be in TX over the weekend.

Adam Smith. Only two simple words that describe the funniest man alive. Adam Smith.

An evening out at the Galleria Mall and Cheesecake Factory.

ANN!!! She's beautiful, talented, fantastic--and now she lives in Texas! Could things get any better?!

Sondra's dinner appetizer at Cheesecake Factory. Just one of the many reasons we get along exceptionally well.

Ever heard of Lip Venom? A lip plumper for those who might long for a fuller look. This condition is called Venom Lip, the direct effect of an allergic reaction to the aforementioned product. I think if my lips had this type of reaction you might not see my face anymore.

My Utah State friends, now transferred to Texas.

Only a weekend, but it was a needed and well-rewarded escape!

Bon Qui Qui

Occasionally I incorporate random phrases into my every day conversations---typically quotes from movies, The Office, or the hilarious happenings of my everyday life. This video goes out to my High School girlfriends who at lunch today heard me use the expression "Do not get loud with me." (Please read that with the slang dialect as it is somewhat difficult to provide a transliteration).

If "I will cut you" is not used in your daily conversation after watching this video, you may need to see it again. Enjoy!

Things happen. People lose their heads. In this scenario it happened to be the groom, but in the Rhodes' home, you never know if you might be next. Not to imply that we live in a hazardous environment--I did just return from the land of Middle-East terrorism--but I will say that the stress of two weddings in two weeks creates a bit of chaos. Two weddings you say? I could handle that easily. Well, compound the insanity with a move.

While our home isn't exactly mobile, in about a month our family will be. For some time my parents have kept a small "For Sale by Owner" sign in our frontyard. (FSBO for those of you who prefer professional terminology). With the market being what it is/was, this didn't mean much. But 2 days before my return from Israel, I was informed that the house hadsold. As the new owners would like to be in as soon as the possible, it was expedient that we find another home. This picture was clearly my first choice, but it didn't seem to meet all the families' needs. For those interested, the Utah Rhodes' camp will be moving up the hill and down the street from where we currently live in Alpine. I will maintain my current residence in Ann Arbor, but rest assured that my transient lifestyle will continue and my location will change in approximately 8 months.

With the sale of our home has come frenzied house cleanings, inspections, and house shopping, all within the two week/two wedding time frame. Welcome to our lives. Lest you misinterpret this entry and it's suggestive photos, no one has lost any heads. The brides are in fact behaving admirably. Above all, my mother is nothing short of a miracle worker, preparing countless intricate details for each of her daughters "days" and maintaining a functional (mostly) household at the same time.

This is a representation of my mother's exceptional talents.
For those concerned about my well-being amidst the insanity, fear not. My tribute speech for Karlie's wedding is nearly prepared and I skillfully escaped tying bows around the 300 guest gift boxes by not so skillfully tying bows. Basically, life is good. 2 days to the first wedding and only another 16 to the second! Heads should be able to stay intact for such a time frame. Thankfully I'll be here to witness any loss of limbs or sanity, while enjoying the beauty of my sisters' nuptials.

Approximately 33 hours, 3 flights, 2 layovers, and 5 movies later.....I'm home!!! It's hard to believe the summer flew by so quickly. Watching the movie Prince Caspian on flight number one seemed to pinpoint a bit how I felt. Leave reality for a while, have some amazing adventures in another world, and then--almost as if it had never happened--you're back in reality. Which is also fantastic, but completely removed. Doesn't get any more profound than Disney.

Needless to say, it was a fantastic month. Here's why:






My friends!!! I would say the primary benefit of my work is the number of fantastic people I get to meet. Singers can be a bit overwhelming, but for the most part I thoroughly enjoy spending my time with them.






The place!!! Israel is a truly fantastic country. The scenery is unbelievably diverse, as are the people. I went with Karlie to get her bridals done and was mind-boggled when the photographer told me he never wanted to visit. His first reason was the terrorism. Valid, but it has subsided considerably over the past few years and Tel Aviv, for being a big city, actually has one of the lowest crime rates in the world. His next concern was that it was a third-world country. The conversation had to end there. You can't argue with ignorance, but please note that Israel is NOT a third-world country. In case you were wondering. Anyway...these pictures are from Jerusalem, Nazareth, and the Dead Sea.

Last, but definitely not least, is Yotel. I had an 11-hour layover in London beginning at 9:30 pm. The prospect of sitting up in the airport all evening, following a 5 hour flight and looking at 13 hours more was not a happy one. Thankfully in Heathrow they have a small hotel (Yotel) with the smallest rooms imaginable, but television, movies, AND free internet. Basically, the greatest invention ever. Which brought my trip to a nice close. Long live the Yotel.

And now...I'm home!!! So, anyone who's in Utah---look me up and let's do lunch! Here's to a fantastic summer!