Stephanie Says

If you had to pick one word to describe me what would it be? Think carefully. But not too carefully. This isn't a pageant and I will not be offering prizes or scoring your descriptions. Although that sounds like a great idea as I'm typing it...

Overwhelmed with adjectives but think you have an answer? Well...you're wrong. You may have picked a brilliant word, something you felt flawlessly described me. But you don't know me. (Inflect previous statement with appropriate attitude). Actually, you might. And I hope you do if you're reading this. And maybe your word was actually correct. Retract every statement I've made thus far. You know me. Your word was entirely accurate--assuming it was positive---BUT in about 25 more days you'll want to rethink your word choice. Why???

Because I am shredding. Not a term to throw around lightly. And I just dropped it into the public arena of the internet. Bold, I know. But so is my newfound commitment to exercise videos. About a month ago I made several key power purchases. Really, they'd be better termed as investments than purchases, but no need to get into that at the moment. Especially given that my investments are safely sitting in Houston, TX. Apparently I have too many addresses on Amazon to actually keep them straight.

"But Stephanie," you ask, "how is it then that you're shredding?" Eloquently worded and wisely posed. ANSWER: a little illegal activity can get you a long way. DISCLAIMER: I don't actually subscribe to illegal activity and should any government official happen across this post, my behaviors should in no way inhibit my travels to Russia. Sincerely, me.

I'm now on Day 5 of Jillian's 30-day shred. That's right, Day 5. In case the repetition didn't clue you in, this is a big deal. You see, I don't do fitness. Love running, tennis, hiking, yoga---activity in general. But a fitness regiment? Nope. Jillian actually says it best: "Fitness is not very important to me." The End. Ok...maybe she follows it up with: "Being healthy is very important to me and fitness is a means to do that." First, I'm going to make a bold statement and say that fitness is actually very important to her. And there's actually no second. Just wanted to take a moment to call her out on her bluff. POINT: I once served my time dieting, spending hours in the gym, etc. But those were the days when I was walking around stage in a bathing suit. Adequate fitness motivation. Now I prefer my intermittent gym-going, lots of desserts, and the occasional obsession with exercise videos.

The challenge is in the 30-days. A fitness routine. A commitment. The reward? Ridiculous windmill and hip roll stretches every day AND my new one-word description:

SHREDDED!!!

And maybe I'm secretly filming an infomercial.


You could be...somewhere around...here.