A Girl Named Candy

All relationships require effort. End of story. (Not really). But some are more complicated than others. While I believe that working in the opera business has trained me to quickly recognize high-maintenance behaviors, I am nonetheless mortal and, in so being, occasionally fall victim to relationships that are less-than-desirable.

Meet Candy.

At first glance, she seems so simple. Even familiar. But on closer acquaintance, things get complicated.

I try not to ask too much of her, but pushing her buttons even lightly tends to send her into nonfunctional disarray. It would seem I can't find the right combination to induce a proper response.

Originally, I thought she was just a washing machine. But she actually comes complete with weather forecast...primarily clouds and rain. With occasional snow and...leaves???

She thinks she's world class...

...but is often too smart for her own good.

Take, for example, our Halloween Holiday celebration. That afternoon I decided we should spend some quality time together. So I gave her some dirty clothes...always makes for a nice time...pushed a few of her buttons, and waited. But apparently she wasn't in the mood. I tried to coax her out of her sulking, non-responsive state, but after 20 minutes found no success. I checked back in an hour later to see if I could get her going. No luck. I gave up. I'm only willing to work so hard for Candy on Halloween...

About three in the morning, I woke up with a start. Apparently Candy had decided it was time for the party. And gave me a mini-heart attack.

The next day, I decided it was time for Round 2: I put in a load, pushed some buttons, and walked away, waiting for a response. And I got one...about 2 hours later. Apparently there's more than one temperamental lady in the house.

So, I guess you could say we're still working on our relationship. But for the time being it seems we've come to a mutual understanding: when laundry needs to happen, it should not be done with any type of time frame. This machine's got a mind of her own.

Talk about high maintenance. Now you know what to expect the next time you run into a girl named Candy.