Saturday, February 21, 2009

Decision Day

The problem with life is it's uncomfortable. For some reason or another, progression seems to go hand in hand with change, which is certain to lead to discomfort. SOLUTION: Abandon all hopes and desires of progression. Problem solved, right? would appear that my decision day has finally come. After a series of four auditions, I find myself headed to San Francisco for the summer, accepted to Michigan's DMA program (2 more years of school) and last night, Houston (yes Christine, the city) called to bump my contract offer for 2010 up to 2009. I was so excited that I stole a car and went to Chili's to get a to-go order of queso and molten lava cake (see entry below)! Thus, my craving and my excitement were satisfied. (For the record, the stolen vehicle was my roommate's). Despite being overwhelmed with joy at the thought of a warm winter, a return to the city and friends I love, a GREAT career opportunity, and being nearer Jonathan Fuentes---I want to get my DMA. I don't want to leave MI. **GASPS**

Yes, my friends, after complaining about the weather, my busy schedule, and my non-existent dating life for two years, I don't want to give it up. Because I have a cute apartment that actually feels like home. I have roommates that I love and are my best friends. I've found people that appreciate "Family Business," aka "Family Bidniz" and are willing to play with me. My ward rocks the casbah, and it's small enough to actually know everyone in it---I should probably work on that. And I have the greatest possible teacher in my field, albeit one of the most stressful. And fantastic friends at school who all want me to coach/play for them next year.


But I think I might regret staying. My teacher has recommended I defer enrollment in the DMA program and take the job for at least a year. I have until Wednesday to decide. Which means a weekend of emotion and conflict, the latter being something I occasionally enjoy but the former being something I avoid at all costs.

Why can't someone just make decisions for me? And WHY are my plans thwarted every time I attempt to become Dr. Rhodes?!

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Illness is frequently associated with doctors, medication and the like. Thankfully, technological developments have assisted in breaking those ludicrous ties. After approximately five weeks of illness, ranging from fever to sexy man voice, I find myself somewhat healed---enough so to realize that everything I needed to know concerning my disease could be found and diagnosed online. I ran a refined search on "the plague" and am now lobbying to have Wikipedia's "List of Historical Plague Outbreaks" modified to include the 2008 episode labeled "S. Rhodes' Pontiac Trail Plague." Feel free to track my progress on the link provided.

Despite being physically freed from the constraints of illness, I now find myself living in waking fear of catching the diseases which infest the masses surrounding me. Most prominent amongst my concerns? Pregnancy. That may catch you a bit off guard, considering my current state of singleness. BUT one of my colleagues with whom I share a keyboard is infected with child AS is my sister with whom I converse on the telephone---and we all know how easily the airborne virus of pregnancy is spread. "But Stephanie," you say, "what could possibly lead you to believe that pregnancy is contagious and that you may have it?" I answer with the following illustrations:

EXHIBIT A: Chili's Molten Lava Chocolate Cake of AMAZINGNESS

EXHIBIT B: Chili's Queso Dip. Golden Goodness!!!

And there you have it. My answer: CONTINUOUS CHILI'S CRAVINGS. For nearly 3 weeks, I've been haunted by visions of the images above. I wake up in the morning, glance in the fridge as I grab my meals to take to school, and shed an inner tear when I find neither queso dip or MLCK are on the menu. (No offense intended toward our meal-planning efforts Kara). Some of you may believe this is just a witness of my Office obsession, subconsciously manifesting itself in my appetite. You may be right. Chili's has played a critical role in several episodes...

Either way---pregnancy or Office side-effects---my plight is clearly one that is not to be ignored. Once the world has been educated on the "S. Rhodes' Pontiac Trail Plague," I will begin the research which will allow me to publish my current condition. Whatever it may be. Someday I may also take a bus ride to Chili's (it wouldn't be quite as satisfying a trip without involving public transportation), but only once the strain of the crave-causing virus has been identified. Until then, may we all find strength in our immune systems. And in the fact that pregnancy is, in actuality, NOT contagious.
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