Monday's Man

My younger sister was kind enough to share this list of inspirational thoughts with me yesterday, in the spirit of the Sabbath. May they fill your heart with the same peace, joy, love, and fear that I experienced.



1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

2. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

3. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

4. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

5. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the info he wants.

6. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

7. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

8. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

9. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

10. Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice.

11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. Just another fist.

12. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

13. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

14. Contrary to popular belief, America is NOT a democracy. It's a Chucktatorship.

15. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

16. When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror it breaks, because it's smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

17. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life.

18. Who would win the race between iron man and superman to the moon?..................Chuck Norris.

19. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

For more Chuck Norris facts, you can visit "Everything you always wanted to know about Chuck Norris: but were too afraid of roundhouse kicks to ask."