Life Lessons in Moscow: The Do's and Don'ts of PDA

If you think of Russia as a frozen wasteland, covered in ice and snow and inhabited by an equally chilling population sporting every type of fur imaginable...you're partially right. On the surface, things can be a bit cold here. But catch a glimpse of the Russian soul and you'll be convinced of the fiery heat that lies within.

Take it from Tolstoy (Lev):

Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love.

The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness...

Such passion is not a thing of the past. (Though it's quite possibly less eloquent). Step into the Moscow metro...or any public arena for that matter...and you'll find that the fire is alive and well. EasyJet recently began non-stop service from London Gatwick to Moscow and asked me to a "Snapshot of Moscow" video. Said video can be found here. (Side note: I don't know why, but this process was exceptionally embarrassing for me. VBlogging? Never going to happen!) But here's a different angle from the outtakes:

My reaction while filming did not nearly do justice to the laughter that continued afterward, as nearly every shot I attempted inevitably included some Moscow makeout.  Welcome to my city...capital of the most serious PDA I have witnessed in my life! In the metro, you'll witness it within moments. Likely on the escalator on the way down, while you're waiting, and in the actual train. But we're not limited to public transportation in this city. Anywhere is fair game. If you're feeling it, you go for it.

I would not call myself a proponent of PDA. Especially not when it borders on pornographic. But I will say, the Russian "emotional readiness" has its advantages. Part of the profound amount of PDA stems from the ability to more openly express love. (NOT equivocating PDA and love...just noting the relationship.) I come from a culture where saying "I love you" often seems as serious as reading a death sentence. (Or maybe this is just me??) Those "three words" mean commitment, responsibility, future, and maybe even weakness...you're vulnerable if you say it first, right? While I don't believe that love should be treated lightly, and true love does mean work and commitment, there's a refreshing emotional freedom in acknowledging only it's pure emotional form and being able to easily express it. Just because you feel it.

Here in Russia, my girlfriends use an abundance of endearments: my sunshine, my happiness, my little bird, my dear, my beloved...the list goes on. In America? I can only come up with girl, girlfriend, and lady at the moment. I'm not advocating adopting "my little bird" in English. Somehow it doesn't have quite the same ring. BUT, I have found myself, after talking with one of my close friends, wrapping up by saying "I love you." Because it's the truth.

So, those are the perks that come along with PDA. But it most certainly comes with some downsides as well. To address those, I have compiled a list of what I consider the "Dos and Don'ts of PDA," based on my personal viewing experiences in Moscow. These are not what I would consider city-specific, however. Feel free to observe them regardless of location.

1. Do keep it short and sweet. If you have to ask how long that is? Too long.


2. Don't display your tongue techniques. If we can see tongue, the technique you should really 
work on is subtlety. And besides...it's likely you've already exceeded your time limit.


3. Do hold hands. Do not hold other body parts.


4. Do not moan or produce similar noises. Especially if it's that loud enough that we can still hear 
it in the metro. Also, moaning likely means you've broken Rule #1. Yet again.


5. Do limit kissing to the facial area. Or at least above the neckline.


6. Don't unbutton, unzip, or unfasten. No explanation needed.


7. Do keep aware of your surroundings. While we're impressed with your balance and multi-tasking, we do fear your safety when the metro brakes and you fall.


8. Don't straddle your partner while there is more than enough bench space available immediately next to them. Straddling will imminently lead to the breakage of all the rules on this list.


9. Do dance with inner joy as you rejoice in your love. Do not dance for each other. In public.


10. Do tell her she's beautiful. Do say you love him. Do not say what adventures that combination will be taking you on for the evening.


The list could go on, but ten seems like a lovely number for now. Contributions, however, are more than welcome!

Embrace a culture. Embrace emotion. Embrace each other. But when you're embracing the moment, think about embracing this list.

Love you, my little birds!

Spring Cleaning: Day 1

Last night after two fantastic "therapy" sessions with girlfriends (thank goodness for Skype and my girls!!!), I came to the conclusion that it's time to make some changes. And luckily, Spring seems like the perfect time to do so.

Wait...Spring?! "Does that happen in Moscow," you ask? ANSWER: Yes. Well...sort of. Our weather here has been a bit of a tease. Last week was sunshiney, glorious and warm enough that I vowed to not wear my winter coat (and daily companion of 6 months) again until NEXT WINTER! As the snow was vanishing, causing the streets to fill with small oceans, this seemed perfectly doable. But this week, we experienced a more realistic version of Spring and I was longing for that winter coat. However, I stoically layered up with my Fall/Spring jacket and have held fast to said vow. Albeit a bit chilly still, I'll take it. It's warmer than it was and the snow in our wood will quite possibly be gone by mid-May, something that seems barely short of miraculous.

As Mother Russia is coming out of hibernation, I decided I should as well. Aforementioned personal realization? Here it comes:

Sometimes I put the person I want to be on hold, waiting for the "perfect" set of circumstances which will allow me to embrace and become that better self. "When I actually have a stable, full-time job", "when I have a house or apartment of my own", "when I get married", "when I have more time". Somehow there's a subconscious conviction that when said events occur, I'll magically metamorphoses into the fabulous version of myself which can only be had in those conditions.

"When" I have a place of my own, I'll obviously invest the time to transform house into home. This clearly means that my organizational skills will be flawless, I'll very likely discover all my very-deeply-hidden crafting talents as I unleash my design goddess, and I'll obviously find the time to sit peacefully on my porch swing while watching the sunset and enjoying a light summer breeze...even in December.

"When" I find my knight in shining armor and decide to hop off my porch swing so we can ride into the sunset together, I'll of course be perfectly put together. I would never even think about falling asleep with my makeup on and wearing it to school/work the next day. (Yup.) I'll possess the utmost patience and be a superb communicator. I'll be an expert in all things domestic. I most definitely will cook meals at home more than twice a month. In fact, I'll likely be running a whole-food, fantastic cooking blog, spreading my domestic and ever-so-tasty bliss throughout the world. I would never even think about running crazily out of the house without making my bed. Crazy isn't part of this picture.

"When" I have a full-time, stable job, that means I'll be financially prepared for retirement by 50. That by not moving every few months I can be a flawless neighbor and friend...someone people can really count on. I won't miss important family events. I'll make it to all my close friends' weddings. I'll be more calm because I won't spend at least 5 months of the year worrying about where I'll be working the next.

Waiting for "when" clearly leads to some flawed thinking. Like the thought that I could ever be crafty. (I just joined Pinterest this weekend and the whole concept seems like some horrific refining school nightmare! Teach me, oh wise ones!!) But seriously...the day I actually do have a house? Or a relationship? Am I going to be magically transformed into any of the above? No would be the correct answer. And while my aim actually isn't to fit into the idealistic mold I've outlined (I actually love my quirky, passionate, hard-working, often out-of-balance self), there are attributes behind these scenes that I do want to work to develop. Now. We aren't limited by our circumstances, but by ourselves.

So...Spring cleaning. Refocusing, rediscovering, re-prioritizing, and even recovering. I'm starting with some time in the kitchen.
In my life, this much produce can only mean one thing: JUICE! The cleanse began this evening and I'm planning on 4 days. I consider it a jump-start for my hibernating system and an opportunity to reevaluate my eating. But more importantly? It's an outward expression of an inward endeavor. Clearing the clutter, recognizing and retaining the good, and then...adding to it. Seizing the moments in current situations and boldly becoming, rather than waiting for the "when..."!

Cheers!

Fast-Forward February

I never believe that February is the shortest month of the year until it's over. And this year has been no exception. The 28 days of this month seem to move at the speed of a hibernating bear. If I could fast-forward February every year, perhaps pausing only for a little mid-month lovin', I would. Who's with me?

But why exactly? It's hard to pin down. I would say that by this point in winter, it's been a little to cold for a little too long. Spring still seems to be only a twinkle in Mother Nature's eye...or maybe in Father Time's?...and we'd all prefer some action to the twinkling! Christmas joys are long past and the only reminder of the holiday season is the extra bit of weight that unfortunately was not shed as quickly as the New Year's resolutions. And somewhere in the midst of grey, you're expected to be a functional, stable, hard-working individual, when your soul is pleading with you to hemisphere-hop for some sunshine and joy.

But this year, just when I was convinced that February might get the best of me, Russia handed me a surprise. It's March 1st. And in this country, that's called SPRING!!!!!

I had to do a quick google search to confirm, but it's official: Russians are OPTIMISTS! It might be buried deep, deep, down on a day-to-day basis, but when it comes to important matters, such as declaring Spring (20 days earlier than expected!) and in turn joy to mankind, they're ON it! I knew I loved this country for a reason.

Now, despite my rantings against February, this month has had it's ups along with the downs:

• Moscow Mondays! 3 out of the 4 Mondays this month, I actually made it out and did some Moscow sight-seeing. While an official Moscow Monday update is in order, here's a snapshot from this week's: 

• Fun with food: This may have been my month of eating happiness. I ventured out to a couple new restaurants (and returned to some old favorites!) and often did so just for the dessert! This cafe, visited once previously, is a favorite. It might be one of the few places in Moscow that has a true non-smoking section and it comes with enough color and greenery to fend off any February feelings.

• SUNSHINE!!! This girl is Vitamin D dependent as it turns out. And after forgetting when I last saw sun and sky, I was overjoyed when they made a few February outings! Not only that, but the days are once again lengthening, and hints of daylight are occasionally evident before I make it inside for the day!

• Running: It's happening again my friends. While it's been 5K's on the treadmill most of the month...I really can't bring myself to do anything longer on those awful machines!...I ran my first 10K of the year this week in the beautiful outdoors! It was exhilarating. With sunshine, breathable temperatures, and fabulous company, not even the ice and sea-sized puddles could remind me that it was February. 
•  St. Petersburg, Valentine's Day, my first public speaking in the Russian language (aside from my opera classes), the start of the new semester...when the month feels like an eternity, might as well fit in an equal amount of activity!
• And last, but not least: I WON!!! Alright...not really. But I'm #51! Despite my poor advertising, Stephanie Says still made the list of the "Top 100 International Exchange and Experience Blogs" which you can verify here! For the record, I did not provide the brilliant description of "American girl in Russia." Thank you to all who took the time to vote!

February was full. And I suppose in fast-forwarding it, I would have missed a lot of the fulfilling ups that made the downs doable. But regardless...I'm beyond thrilled to move on. It's SPRING in Moscow after all!

My Life. It's News.

Almost. Or not really at all. My life in itself is as newsworthy as whatever you may read on this blog. BUT there have been interesting news events colliding with my existence this week.

Meteor, anyone??? While there's a lot that happens in Russia that I wish got similar international press, it is refreshing to have people remember that: A) Russia exists. It may seem like stating the obvious, but sometimes it feels like the sphere of existence for many does not extend past Europe. (NOT going to open the debate about which continent Russia belongs to!) B) I live here. Special thanks to all who were concerned/curious to find out if I had any interaction with said meteor.

I did. Via YouTube. Here's what I saw:

There are definite advantages to everyone in the country having dashboard cameras my friends. Just for a frame of reference, Chelyabinsk in the Ural Mountain region where the meteor hit is about a 23 hour drive away, so no excitement in these parts. And for any of you who haven't looked at a map in a while, I check out Russia almost once a day, often only to reconfirm how MASSIVE it is! Check it out the next time you have a minute!

Next up, remember My New Life: The Cruise Edition? Well, the very ship which supplied me with a continuous flow of frozen yogurt, did not perform quite as well this time around. Let's just say I'm counting my blessings that the days I passed on board included a functional sewage system.

My favorite quote from one of the passengers: "I want a hot shower and a daggum Whataburger." I don't blame the individual on either account. There's something so purely Texas about that line though that I couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately, the article that contained this has been "updated" so that I can no longer provide you with effective linkage proof.

Last, but not least in the news category: I've been nominated.

I found out via my SPAM mail yesterday that I've been nominated for a blogging award! Something to do with international exchange program blogs and the qualifications/nomination process seems unknown. Here's the thing: I have very mixed feelings about promoting my blog. Any of you other other bloggers out there dealt with that identity crisis? Somehow I don't mind and actually LOVE when people happen across it and we make friends. But I'm slow at this game and would say that this year is the first time I've taken any measures to let the internet world know that this little corner exists.

That being said: I do have pride. Due to the SPAM delivery, I've missed out on the voting period ALMOST completely. BUT...I would like to receive a vote. Or more. Pride in this case = not being voteless. So, if you happen across this before the 17th of January at 11:55 pm CET, visit this link and check the "Stephanie Says" box. And if you do so, feel free to comment below, so I can thank you personally! My pride appreciates it.

That's all for this News Edition!

Xoxo,

SR

Russian-American Relations(hips)

Apparently I'm not a "typical" American. Or so I was told several times today by Russian friends. When I asked for clarification on what that meant, things got a little complicated.

"You know that one American we all know? Well, he smiles." Just for the record, I smile. Maybe not in the metro, but even I know that's not allowed in Russia.

"The skirt you're wearing isn't long and it's not short. It's European style." And the jokes begin.

So, what's a typical American?

Maybe I'm not the one to ask. After working/living in Utah, Texas, Oklahoma, Michigan, Missouri, Washington DC, San Francisco, and New York City, and traveling across most of our country, I feel like the primary unifying characteristic might be diversity. I'm not going to argue that many stereotypes of our country are founded on accurate trends. We smile. Our portion sizes in restaurants are often ridiculous. We use credit cards. We plan.

But at the end of the day, we're people. And no person is typical.

I spent Monday and Tuesday in a mid-year conference with fellow Fulbright grant recipients, hearing about their research, their experiences in Russia, their cultural frustrations, but most importantly...about their passion for Russia and its wonderful people. Topics ranged from US-Russia science cooperation to the study of the Chuvash language; patterns of rainfall along the Volga river over several thousands of years (based on the analysis of an 11,800-year-old stalagmite) and the history of Cossack music. Not one project dealt with bringing any type of change to Russia, but simply understanding and appreciating all that this country has to offer.

I'm not going to say that this was a conference of "typical" Americans. But I love the thought that I was sitting in a room filled with people who might defy the standard Russian definition of "American" and who, in turn, will take home a picture of Russia that can help broaden American understanding of the Russian people.

Speaking of those American stereotypes of Russians...while I myself never assumed there were bears roaming the streets here, and never even heard said stereotype until arriving here, I have witnessed where such misunderstandings are born. I don't know what animal this is, but I couldn't help snapping a picture. Please look closely so as to not miss the tail.

The complexity of Russian-American relations politically speaking seems unending. But politics aren't people. And, as I see it, Russian-American relationships are alive and well, containing only the universal complexities that characterize relationships in general. I love this country. The complexity of the language while mind-numbing on occasion, is brilliantly fascinating and seriously beautiful. But the best part about this place is without a doubt the people. Many of the relationships I've developed here are the type that will last a lifetime. The type where at the end of a conversation about cultural differences and frustrations, you don't really feel like you were speaking in a foreign language because you understood each other so well. The type of relationships that can be defined as anything but "typical."

--Steps off soapbox--

Side note: (hips) in parentheses was too comical an effect to eliminate once typed. But I will now forever desire to type (hips) as such purely for the visual imagery.
The end.