Adventures of a Pescatarian

Let it be established that I love food. If you're new to this blog, understanding that basic fact will provide insight into the majority of my ramblings. And if you've been reading for some time and haven't picked up on that...seek professional help.

I have a colleague this summer that recently decided to be a pescatarian. And when he told me this I laughed in his face. Rude? Perhaps. But when food is the focal point of your existence, anything that limits your edible options is equivalent to starvation, dieting, depression, self-destruction, etc. You get the idea. He kindly explained his dietary choice, and I had/have a few problems with it. #1) There is no set spelling for the term. I've now found it in multiple dictionaries, spelled both with an "a" in pescAtarian, and with an "e", pescEtarian. How can anyone respect a trend that has such clear factions within its followers? #2) Did I mention how I feel about food???

So...I decided to try it. Dizzying logic, I know. Some called the radical move "solidarity." For me, it was much more---a full-fledged embrace of an alternative lifestyle: dietary restriction. At a round-table discussion on the subject, (yes I will make our break spot sound that legitimate) a few colleagues, in turn, laughed at me for coining it thus, due to what they deem my alternative lifestlye: religion. Fair enough. Although all this time I'd thought virginity and sobriety were the norm...
Ironies aside, I was a committed pescatarian for a work-week. (Lest anyone, pescatarian and Mormon alike, find themselves offended at this point, best to get it over it. All laughter was in fact good-natured).



THOUGHTS OF A NEWLY-INDUCTED PESCATARIAN:

Day 1: This is my idea of hell. I want a salad WITH chicken on it, and that's bad for me?!?! I don't think I've ever craved chicken in my life. Until this moment. Absolute hell. Wait...I can still have sugar. Suppose it could be worse---I could be a pescatarian on a diet.

Day 2: Need food. Quick. Subway? Oh, fantastic. Let's order the Veggie DELIGHT?!?! There's a first. Foot long so I can save half for dinner. Ugh. Doomed to hunger for an entire week. What have I become...

Day 3: Enough. Going to a fabulous DC restaurant to eat more fish than could possible be good for me. BONUS: restaurant has an Office quote on the wall. Does it get higher class???

Day 4: I'm rocking this game. Bless short-term commitments. Another foot-long Veggie Delight? Bring it on.

Day 5: Let's wrap up this nonsense with a little grandeur--FRENCH! Mussels and more mussels and SALMON! I love my life. I love food. Even as a PESC(A/E)TARIAN!!!

CONCLUSION: Stephanie finds it in herself to love and respect pescatarianism. It doesn't hurt to eat healthier. And she still loves meat. And the third-person. And sugar. And food.